Fear is a scary thing.

It destroys confidence so easily. Yet it's able to make one's opponent gain so much from our very own fear.

Why do fear even exist though?

For me, it seems to be the problem of self-confidence.

Maybe it's the family I grew up in, I never get praised often, the high expectations of my parents... Although I meet those expectations, I don't get praised; which I found is typical in most traditional Chinese families. Emotions are rarely shown, tempers flare at the slightest mistakes made, scoldings often ringing in the ears of the child, nagging which continues even when you're a grown up, nice comments hardly said, the honour of having a graduate in the family, the PRIDE.

Take me as an example, I may have done well for my O levels, but I wasn't praised. My parents were definitely happy when I got such good results despite my humble background and the 'kind of effort' they saw me put in. I still remember how disappointed I was when my dad told me, "Claire ah, it doesn't just end here. You'd better work hard in Poly to enter a local uni." The disappointment didn't come from his high hopes, it came from the lack of praises for my efforts. I didn't feel recognised, at all. I expected something simple like "Good job" before he listed out his expectations for me...

Maybe it's just me, the lack of nice comments and praises for me, the preference to be recognised for something good and the hard work I put in, I think it's important to me. The recognition gives you some motivation to do better. I know where my dad is coming from, however, it still makes me feel sad about this issue which even my little brother is facing now...

By now, you realise the thing about families in Singapore especially? You're often blamed for not focusing on your studies when you do badly in exams or even small class tests, instead of being encouraged to do better the next time round. Grades matters a big deal. I don't know but that's probably got to do with the society we live in. With scoldings/ nagging taking the place of encouragement, how do you expect a kid to grow up to be a self-confident individual?

no complaints but I just wish I can be a better, encouraging and patient parent in the future. :)

-THE END-